The sky was a huge blanket of darkness but, the beautiful galaxy of stars made the night gratifying for him. Godwin who had only his boxers on, stared lazily at his illuminated swimming pool, as he lounged by the poolside with a glass of wine in his hand.
“Alcohol is the beginning and the end of my problems,” he thought as he took a sip. No, he shook his head; he couldn’t blame any of the recent events on wine; he had had full and total control of his senses.
He took another sip from his glass and the thoughts of how foolishly he was running his life ran through his mind. He had hurt his girlfriend, he had done the one thing he had promised himself he would never do to Susan or to anyone else in the world; he had cheated. There was no coming back from that, he had to break up with her. He had to end it because she deserved better.
Susan would understand why he has to end things with her after all; they had an agreement that when their relationship becomes burdensome, they would end it. Still he didn’t feel any better; he was jerk and he knew it. This kind of drama was exactly what he didn’t need in his life.
Speaking of drama, he didn’t even want to think of what Elizabeth had done to him earlier that morning, or rather it was what she had not done that was just so unnerving. Just after, she had walked in on him and Debby arguing stark naked, Debby had quickly tossed some of his clothes that she had picked from the floor at him, and shoved him to the bedroom to get dressed.
He had practically stood in front of Debby’s mirror asking and giving answers to possible questions that Elizabeth had probably lined up for him. He was a CEO for goodness sake and yet there he stood.
He finally braced himself and went back to the sitting room fully dressed, even Debby had put on her ridiculous night gown that she had been wearing the night before, how he had gotten turned on with her in that thing was beyond him. No, it wasn’t beyond him at all, Debby could be dressed in a sack and he would still get turned on, he was that attracted to her, there was no point in denying that now. After all, it is said that acceptance is the first step towards finding solutions.
When he returned to sitting room, he found both Debby and her sister sitting in an awkward silence, and then, he remembered that there had been a fight at dinner the previous night. In other words, the sisters’ had bigger problems than him. He would have leapt for joy because it meant Elizabeth had no time for any mischief. But, just as he was about to slip out of the house unnoticed, Beth turned, nodded at him and gave him her slyest smile ever. At that moment he knew he was done for, he would have preferred her to freak out, ask him ridiculous questions and actually expect him to answer them all but her silence and her smile just meant that one big embarrassment was waiting for him in the future and he could only ask the lord for mercy. He smiled weakly in return and bolted out of the house as fast as he could.
Elizabeth was the queen of drama and Debby was the queen of crazy, the Smith sisters were one of a kind but he couldn’t help that his brother was married to one of them and he was in love with the other.
He almost chocked on his wine, did he just ‘say’ or rather ‘think’ he was in love with Debby? No, loving wasn’t possible for a monster like him; he wasn’t allowed to love, no, it can’t be.
He needed to calm down, he was already hyperventilating, love was not for him, he dropped his wine glass unconsciously and it crashed to the ground, the spilled wine glistened in the dark. Even the stars seemed to be mocking him, because the universe knew he wasn’t allowed to love, it was a punishment for something he had done.
Debby drew a bath with a generous amount of her favourite lavender bath salt, and sank into the bath which was a bit too hot, just the way she liked it. She would be there until her body began to itch, a sign that she had stayed in the water for too long but until then, she would enjoy the bath. She didn’t want to think, she just wanted to enjoy the water and maybe even fall asleep. But, the thoughts wouldn’t stop flooding her mind. Who puts on a Lana Del Rey playlist and gets into a bath when they didn’t want to think?
She had been a little bit too emotional lately which according to Elizabeth, wasn’t such a bad thing because having a lot of pent up emotions was dangerous to the body and injurious to the mind. Debby had scoffed, trust Beth to try and be deep with everything.
But, Debby had to admit that Beth was sometimes right, opening up made her feel a whole lot better and she’d even apologised to Beth for all the hurtful things she had said to her at the dinner gathering. She even admitted that it was related to the frustration of trying to get a job and her feelings towards to Godwin, feelings she told Beth she was confused about. Beth had said nothing but had smiled instead, she of course didn’t need a soothsayer to tell her what had happened between them but thankfully, she had not said anything about it.
Speaking of Godwin, if she did not know herself well, she would have thought she was in love with him.
Alarm bells sounded in her head at the word, it wasn’t possible she couldn’t be in love with him; it was that one part of herself that she had sworn never to give out to any man, never to be that vulnerable, she couldn’t be in love, she was sure of it. But, why was her heart beating so fast that she was afraid it might fall out of her chest.
Thank you for reading this week’s episode of Accepting Love, for those of us who may have forgotten where the story is coming from, you can refresh your memory by clicking the links above.
Also, if you haven’t bought my new book ‘She’ You can click here to do so. An official post about the book will be on the blog this weekend.
Next episode, next week, same time, same day.